Saturday, 26 November 2011

Kid-isms, Part 1

There are times when it boggles my mind, the things that come out of my child's mouth.  Sometimes I wonder if someone didn't secretly slip me a lot of alcohol while I was pregnant, and there are other times when I am in awe at her 5 and a half year old grasp of the world.

Bit of back story: 

My daughter is highly articulate. I never spoke to her as though she were sub-human, and I never allowed anyone else to do so either. As such, she has a vocabulary that exceeds that of some adults.

I love horror movies. When she gets older, I don't want her to be afraid of theatrical crap, so vampires, werewolves and zombies are a normal part of our household, I won't let her watch the movies, but we will discuss paranormal sub-culture.  Naturally, her favourite show is Monster High.

So from the mouth's of babes ... or in this case from her mouth. Unedited.

Her: "Mommy, what happens if a vegetarian human is turned into a zombie?"
Me: "What do you mean?"
Her: "Vegetarians only eat vegetables, and zombies only eat brains. Brains are not vegetables."
Me: "What do you think happens?"
Her: "They eat cauliflower."

On the Easter Bunny:
Her: "Mommy, does the Easter Bunny really exist?"
Me: "Do you think he really exists?"
Her: "Well, I think it would be pretty hard for you and Daddy to get chocolate to all the kids in the whole world in one night, so it must be a bunny."

On Death:
Her: "If you were walking across the road, and got hit by a truck, and another truck came and popped your head off, I'd be really sad."
Me: "I'd be pretty sad, too."
Her: "No, you'd be dead."

On Zombies:
Her: "If you die and become a zombie, I'll take your head off for you."
Me: "Thank you, baby."

Now some of you may be thinking that I am a horrible parent. And that is okay, you can think that. When she is old enough to date, and Mr. Grabby-Hands takes her to a horror movie, she'll be ready.

To Mr. Grabby-Hands:  You've been warned.

1 comment:

  1. Very funny! Especially love the Death one, lmao