Saturday, 17 December 2011

Best Bus Ride. Ever. So far.

I got on the bus today which was busier than on the weekdays but then it could be because everyone who works downtown on the weekdays probably doesn’t start in the afternoon so there are fewer people, but on the weekend when most people don’t work they apparently take the bus downtown to do other stuff.
There was an elderly Asian woman probably in her late seventies if I had to guess who was standing near the front. The ride proceeded as usual, until this woman started to sing. She sang “The Sound of Music”. At full volume.
But she didn’t know all the words to the song, so she would mix the words with other songs like “How do you Solve a Problem like Maria” but she kept the tune to “The Sound of Music” which was awesome, because the words don’t match at all and it makes the brain wonder “WHAT IS GOING ON?”
After a few songs – at full volume, she then moved on to singing hymns and started yelling about God. When it appeared that no one was listening to her, she began to spell the words. C-h-r-i-s-t is K-i-n-g, just in case we weren’t sure which Christ she were talking about because it is always best to cover your bases when on a bus filled with people of different ethnicities and probably different beliefs. It's your R-e-s-p-o-n-s-i-b-i-l-i-t-y.
She would switch between singing hymns and yelling at the atmosphere “he is the only way to happiness” and “he is the only king” and “we must put our trust in him to be saved” all in a sing-song voice in mostly English words with an Asian accent to the tune of “The Sound of Music”.
As the bus slowed she made her way to the front, stopped, and turned to face us all.
She then raised her shopping bag filled arms in what I can only assume was her best impression of Jimmy Swaggart during a faith healing frenzy. She spoke so quickly that I wondered if she had begun speaking in tongues.


She looked serious—not like “hello! I'm trying to save you...” but more angry like “why must I always be surrounded by evil-doers who don’t pay attention when I sing songs with the wrong words to the wrong tune and all must perish."
Then exited the bus to a notable lack of applause.
I was left completely uncertain if she was blessing us all with her spirit or if she were casting us all to the fires of eternal damnation as unbelievers.
Best. Bus. Ride. Ever.
The whole time part of me was waiting for someone to tell her to sit down and be quiet or for someone to pick a fight because they were offended with what she was saying.
Another part of me was all like “wow, good for you.” It takes an incredible amount of courage to speak about your beliefs with anyone, let along sing them in the wrong tune to a bus full of strangers.
Now I have “The Sound of Music” score stuck in my head but that’s okay because I really like that movie and I’m sad that I only have it on VHS, when I was sure I bought it on DVD but I can’t find it so maybe I dreamed that I did but after today I’m going to have to go get it for real. Because it is awesome.

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